I Made A Mistake!

I’m training someone at work, a position that I have had less than a year, and a department that lacks any kind of training program or updates policies and procedures. After a complicated and rare case, my supervisor asked when my orientee and I would have time to chat about the case… and I panicked. […]

Well This is Going to Hurt

My husband’s moving truck is here. I’m listening to the sounds of plastic wrap, footsteps, and a dolly while I sit locked away in my office. Looking out the window, I watch as pieces of our life from the past 10 years get loaded and packed away. Later today I’ll go pick up my own […]

You’re Safe Now, Little One

I’ve often commented that my trauma, my stress response, or my adrenaline response is to freeze. I don’t fight. I don’t run. I freeze. During a moment of internal reflection and meditation last night, I think I have a better understanding of what is happening when I freeze. At least, I’ve figured out a description […]

Be Vulnerable or Get Hurt

This year has been a whirlwind. My medications were dialed in, my therapy was going well enough, and the stress of having someone’s life in my hands was gone. Still. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t enough. My chaotic tornado of thoughts and emotions lived up to its fullest potential. It’s pretty spectacular, really. Structure and […]

Dig Deeper Into the Hurt

If there is one thing that has angered me the most in the past few months, it would definitely be my dad’s Facebook posts. He probably has the same mindset and posts as a lot of conservatives from his generation, but why do his posts in particular make the heat rise on my face and […]

Peace in Vulnerability

Keeping up appearances. What a crazy self-induced constraint. No wonder I went through so many years being miserable and feeling like I didn’t really belong. Of course I don’t belong in a place that requires sacrificing my own needs and desires in order to keep up a pretty, “socially acceptable” wall between myself and the […]

Shadow Work

I started this blog to try to be more confident in my true self, which also means discovering my true self. I want to be seen now, instead of the years I spent dimming my light. So, you know what? Let’s dive in. Let’s be vulnerable. I read that shadow work is about illuminating the […]

TikTok & Shamanism

During my thorough perusing of TikTok, I came across a video by Rhonda McCrimmon. She drew me in and before I knew it, I signed up for emails from her website, joined her Facebook group, and then listened to one of her podcasts. She is amazingly lovely and positive, and since I’ve been on a […]