I Made A Mistake!

I’m training someone at work, a position that I have had less than a year, and a department that lacks any kind of training program or updates policies and procedures. After a complicated and rare case, my supervisor asked when my orientee and I would have time to chat about the case… and I panicked. […]

You’re Safe Now, Little One

I’ve often commented that my trauma, my stress response, or my adrenaline response is to freeze. I don’t fight. I don’t run. I freeze. During a moment of internal reflection and meditation last night, I think I have a better understanding of what is happening when I freeze. At least, I’ve figured out a description […]

Be Vulnerable or Get Hurt

This year has been a whirlwind. My medications were dialed in, my therapy was going well enough, and the stress of having someone’s life in my hands was gone. Still. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t enough. My chaotic tornado of thoughts and emotions lived up to its fullest potential. It’s pretty spectacular, really. Structure and […]

Hug Your Inner Child

I’m starting to realize how much my inner child needs healing. I clearly have negative and painful memories when it comes to my father. When my dad would wake up in the morning and wander out of his room, I would stay silent until I could scrutinize the way he walked and the expression on […]

You Might Be the Asshole

Ok. Maybe you’re not the asshole. You’re probably actually very lovely and I’m just projecting my own experience onto every else’s life. This morning found me grinning to myself as I reflected on a recent interaction with my husband. Our relationship is by far stronger now than it ever has been in the past. After […]

Comparing Negative Traits

I found this writing prompt on a blog and looked at it for a long time: “If I’m honest, I have the same negative traits as my father. For example: ________________.” Oof. Ok. Let’s do this. If I’m honest, I have the same negative traits as my father. For example: I get irrationally irritable and […]

Shadow Work Part 2

This was an interesting exercise. It took a minute to get started, but then everything started to flow. It’s interesting to look at these lists and make connections between them. Now I’m going to go hug my inner child and let her know that she is love. She didn’t need love from anyone else. 🖤🤍🖤 […]

Dig Deeper Into the Hurt

If there is one thing that has angered me the most in the past few months, it would definitely be my dad’s Facebook posts. He probably has the same mindset and posts as a lot of conservatives from his generation, but why do his posts in particular make the heat rise on my face and […]

Breaking the Dam

Couples’ therapy shook up my life. Well, I started the process of shaking up my life when I made the poor decisions that led us to couples’ therapy. Deep down, I had always kind of known that I needed some help unpacking all of my emotional baggage. I even remember telling my husband that I […]

Finding My Sexual Truth

I will wait for you to tell me who you are, I will wait for you to tell me your truth, and I will accept when you tell me it’s changed. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find out who I am. I’ve probably driven my husband crazy by pondering out loud existential […]